Weekend Cooking: What's your coffee personality?

My Weekend Cooking post this week is inspired by a character in Sarah Addison Allen's The Peach Keeper. The character, whose name is Rachel, works in a camping store owned by one of the two main characters in the novel. She is the one who is responsible for keeping the cafe section of the store running and she has some very interesting ideas about coffee and how the coffee that you feel like having each day can be reflective of your mood! So if you come in happy you may want a frappucino for example, and if you are not so happy maybe something a little less frothy.

When I was thinking about this post I spent ages looking for information about what your coffee drinking habits reveal about you, and unfortunately for me, I didn't come out particularly well in the results that I found. You see, I am not much of a coffee or tea drinker. I will drink them when I go out, but it is very rare for me to actually make myself a coffee or tea when I am at home by myself. In fact, when I was cleaning out my pantry this week, I threw out two jars of instant coffee. One was nearly empty, but the expiry date was three years ago, and the other jar hadn't even been opened but expired even longer ago.

Luckily, someone has written a book that addresses this topic. The You Code was written by Judi James and James Moore and was released last year. It also looks at other topics like your favourite TV programme, to the filling in your sandwich and analyses what that says about you.

I am closer to a non coffee drinker than anything, but when I do have coffee, I will either have a cappuccino or a latte, so lets see what the results say for someone with my coffee tastes:

The non-coffee drinker:

"Unfortunately, the verdict isn't good. Frightened of coffee equals frightened of life. If the taste of coffee puts you off you really are a child and it's time to join the world of grown ups. But there's hope. "Twenty one days is all it will take to break your cycle of disgust and then you'll be back in the real world."

The latte drinker:

"Typically metrosexuals or cuddly-toy collectors, latte drinkers are pleasers with an overwhelming compulsion to be liked. A latte drinking boss will use a baby voice to tell you off. By taking a dark and dangerous drink and turning it into a comforting milky bedtime beverage latte drinkers reveal that while they may want to come across as hot shot contenders, they have an immature side."

The cappuccino drinker:

"Like their drink, cappuccino drinkers are all froth and bubble, bored by detail and liking - but not obsessed with - material objects. The cappuccino drinker enjoys sex but is easily bored by an unimaginative partner."
"Cappuccino froth gives the tongue the mother of all workouts and is all to do with the physicality of the experience rather than the basic consumption of the beverage."

The instant coffee drinker:

"These are cheerful, straight forward types, who like a laugh and live by the maxim "if it ain't broke, don't fix it". But instant coffee drinkers can be unadventurous in their careers and need to let others see the hidden depths in their personality. The no-nonsense instant coffee drinker is allergic to pretentious behaviour, and they are likely to keep their socks on during sex"

So what about the more hard core coffee drinkers?

The espresso drinker : 

The espresso is 'the unfiltered cigarette of the coffee drinking world'. Espresso drinkers tend to be moody, hard-bitten and hard working. They are into leadership and fast goals. They don't suffer fools but are hard living and prone to 'night-time shenanigans, followed by a rather louche attempt at day time repair". The espresso drinker can be an experienced, exciting and consummate lover but is not known for reliability or unswerving loyalty."

The decaf soy milk drinker:

"A self-righteous eco-worrier and attention seeker with a tendency to be picky, fussy - and squeamish in the bedroom. What's more, this faux choice implies a pretentious, high-maintenance type who wants what they can't have and is disguising their true personality."

The frappucino drinker :

"Flighty and shallow, the frappucino drinker will try anything once - especially if a celebrity has done it first. They fancy themselves trend setters but send out the message that they are someone who favours style over substance. The frappucino drinker's relationships often last as long as their drink choice"

To be honest, when I look at those there isn't really any type of coffee drinker that comes out of it very well!

At the beginning of this post, I said that it took a while to find examples of this. Turns out I should have just looked at Sarah Addison Allen's website as she not only has some recipes from the book, but also has some other personality evaluations based on your coffee choices (click on the Not Just Fiction link).

Another fun thing is to input your coffee order into The Oracle of Starbucks which will tell you your personality type based on your coffee order. Somewhat predictably, my result said I was lame!

You would have to wonder what the Oracle would make of some of the following orders:






As an aside, if you want some really fun reads and haven't read Sarah Addison Allen, I would highly recommend them. They also tend to feature a lot of food related story telling with emphasis on the magic of food. For example, in one of her books, there is a character who bakes cakes that effect the mood of the town, and in another there is a caterer who uses different edible plants in her food. Claire from Garden Spells makes a cameo appearance in The Peach Keeper, and it was great to see her again.

 Weekend Cooking is hosted by Beth Fish Reads and is open to anyone who has any kind of food-related post to share: Book (novel, nonfiction) reviews, cookbook reviews, movie reviews, recipes, random thoughts, gadgets, fabulous quotations, photographs.