Christmas Quotes: From The Last Charm by Ella Allbright

This isn't the most festive of quotes overall, but it definitely is something I have felt. I am getting better at embracing the festive season, but it is something I have to work at by consciously making decisions to watch Christmas movies and listen to Christmas music. 

It feel very real. I have definitely been in this place mentally!

The Christmas tree is up in the corner, bedecked with turquoise and purple baubles and dripping with tinsel. It twinkles with flashing LED lights, and sits in a large red ceramic pot to hold it steady. A red velvet ribbon is fastened to its top branch rather than the more traditional gold star. I'd have preferred a real tree, but the first year we had Fleur and got one she kept spinning around beneath it rapturously, snuffling and trying to hoover the pine needles up. She obviously didn't realise they're toxic for dogs, and within a day Dad had to donate our gorgeous tree to a family down the road. I really can't see the attraction of putting sharp in your mouth, even if you think it tastes good. Mad beagle.

I look around the lounge from where I'm digging our stockings out of an ancient box. Winterberry-scented candles are dotted around the room, brightening the dark walls and ancient furniture, and covering up the smell of emulsion from upstairs.  I started  redecorating months ago,  but have only managed to do mine and Dad's bedrooms so far, what with work and Craig....I shudder, steering my thoughts away. The point is, it's take far longer than planned to create the new vision I had for our house. Even Dad's getting impatient with me now, and he's usually the most laid back person going. He's at a Saturday job, so I'm all alone. El and Chloe are both busy with their lovely boyfriends, and Edwin has given me a rare weekend off as a reward for increasing sales at the gallery. Although I've got Fleur's waggy company, I can feel the sharp edge of loneliness digging into my skin, so an MTV Christmas channel is playing seasonal songs to create background noise, and the smell of cinnamon and aromatic alcohol wafts from the kitchen where mulled wine's slowly simmering on the hob.

I've done everything I can to create a Christmassy spirit in the house, to make it nice and festive for us. The weather's even joining in, the winter wind rattling the draughty windows, shimmering frost coating the leaves on the trees like they've been breathed on by Jack Frost. A thick carpet of snow coats the ground from where icy flakes fell and settled overnight. I've also been to two Christmas parties, eaten turkey with cranberry sauce and all the trimmings, and gone to a fete with Eloise, surrounded by adorable  children dressed as elves, reindeer, and shepherds, running around high on excitement and sugar in the form of minty striped candy canes.

And then a bit later on...

I've had plenty of opportunity to gear myself up for the season, but I'm not feeling it. At. All. If anything, it's making me feel worse, as if I'm trying too hard. It's forced and faked. I'm starting to hate Christmas and everything that comes with it.

Which reminds me....we really must put the Christmas tree up this week.